19/01/2014

The boy who’s gonna be the main character of this short story lived in a sick world, a dark place. When you looked at the sky, there was no sun shining, only the moon, laughing viciously, bathing everything in a cold, pale light; where people hid in their crumbling homes, hoping that no one would ever find them. The only thing those people had inside were loneliness and emptiness, which destroyed any other thing their hearts could bear. And they also nested inside this boy. He didn’t had a crumbling home, but wander constantly in the streets, kicking an old tin, looking for something to do, like a dog in a cage. He wasn’t afraid of the light of the moon. He was looking for something. And he had suffered. Sometimes, as he walked down an empty street, he got lost within his memories, reminding all of his miseries. Like when he payed one of those cold and superintelligent machines to tell him ‘I love you’, without any feeling. It didn’t make him feel better. Just pathetic. Or when he tried to talk to that blue people in their crumbling homes, without any response but a shrug. Or when he realized all he dreamed of was too far away, and then find it was rotten. So he just waste his time wandering around, without any real purpose, feeling his body being eaten by his dark feelings.

But one day he saw someone else approaching him throught the mist, a female figure. When she came closer and could see her, he observed she looked a bit confused. Then he realized she was blind, and that was the reason why she was so lost. But it didn’t matter to him, she had something special. It was not her body what was beautiful, but her soul maybe. He let her wander around with him. And then they were two, kicking an old tin. He showed her his deamons, and she chose to hold him, stay by his side even in the darkest of the nights. And he would lead her. They didn’t need to express with words what they felt because they had the confidence of two beings who had decided to never be separated, but we could call it ‘love’, although it wasn’t enough to make her actually happy, because she dreamed away with ‘the other side’ where the sun was always shining, the moon was never in the sky and there weren’t crumbling homes and hearts. And he was afraid, didn’t know how to take her there because, although he wanted a good life for her, she was blind and her heart, after all, was broken, while his was full of envy and hatred for those perfect who belonged to ‘the other side’. There’s no room for people like them there. Moreover, his other fear was that, if he ever managed to take her to that place, where all people were much happier and better than in the city of delusion, she may fall for another grown man, leaving him alone, and he could never take it.

Until one day, she dissapeared, didn’t go to wander around with him. He walked up and down that city of delusion, didn’t sleep, didn’t eat for days. But then, when he had lost all hope, through the mist, like the first time, he watched her approaching. She wasn’t the same. Something had changed. He realized it when she came near. She wasn’t blind anymore, now her eyes were cured and could see perfectly.  She would never need her love for him again, all those feelings had been erased from her heart, leaving just a vague mark. And she told him she was going to cross to ‘the other side’, there where he couldn’t reach her, was going to leave him behind. But it wasn’t the same for him. Blind or not, he still loved her. His soul broke, as he ran away from her, from her cold gaze. There’s nothing more painful than when the person you love looks at you with indifference, hatred or anger are preferable. No one would hold him in the night of his heart again, couldn’t believe it had been real one time. His pain was lacerating, deep and empty. Although tears couldn’t express the deep of his sorrow, he was crying. He just felt like destroy the ‘city of delusion’, every single crumbling home, every single half-alive person, every single feeling, every single street, every single old tin. Destroy. Set the world on fire and burn himself with it. Destroy everything but her, the only thing he could had ever loved.

Picture from: sarahannloreth.deviantart.com

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