I had just arrived in a new city, a city as vast as my solitude. I got there and you came to get me. I remember I walked out to meet you and, as I headed towards you at full speed, the vertigo of emotion made me feel dizzy, unreal. None of this could be true in a world like mine. I went up stairs and stairs to the surface, out of myself. I got lost a couple of times, but I could find the way. High buildings around me made me feel small and weak, intimidated me, but I was twenty, I was young and secretly harbored a hope. And there you were, my faint hope, as I had dreamed you during all those empty nights, when all I could do was wait. I had loved so long ago that I had absolutely forgotten everything I learned about it. But the most important, actually all I knew, how painful it can become, had also been buried by time. I listened to love songs and I was so far from what they described. I wondered who could feel something like that. Nevertheless, my heart was light and fluttering in my chest, looking for the object of its worship. You walked me through the maze of the city. With you by my side, all was less threatening, even myself, and while listening to your words resonating with mine, I thought that communication may be, after all, possible. And when you tried for the first time to tell me about love, it is always too difficult to talk about feelings, so you went wrong. Then, you got sad, like if you were giving everything up for lost, and you walked beside me, for such an old street as nostalgic, as beautiful, as dark, hands in pockets, head down. I could feel your huge disappointment and, for the first time, I shared your sorrow and therefore recognized you as an equal. By then I was already lost. I felt like a kind of unreal tie around your waist and tied to mine, pulling with a compelling and extraordinary strength. I felt, sensed that there was a place for me beside you, that perhaps had found that long-cherished place to belong, your heart. It was a new, extraordinary feeling, I’d never experienced before and that came from the depths of the soul. There was something deeply moving in you, crying out that you needed someone, anyone. And I wanted to comfort you, I wanted to hold on to your arm and walk by your side. But I didn’t do it. Because it is not easy to talk about feelings. And you were still sad, and seemed so vulnerable, so lonely, so lovely. Your eyes looked to the darkness through the window, sad and empty, then wandered around and then met mine, on a deep look that left my heart disarmed. You were trying to make your way to me. I felt your pain, your abandonment, your loneliness, and I just wanted to heal your wounds, love you to the point you’d forget that once had suffered. I wanted to help you. Isn’t that love? And, at last, life smiled at me, everything was as I wanted. The past never mattered anymore. Where you had took me, I was far away from it and couldn’t reach me or hurt me anymore. I was a new person, a different one, I had a reason to live. I was real, I was young, and my twenty-years old footsteps echoed down the street. I could be myself unrestricted, could approach the truth inside me, with nothing to fear. I loved you, and I loved me, the person you made come out from the ashes. I was free. At last. With you, I could be free.


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