I read this words in an article you can read here: http://ensayosdeincertidumbre.wordpress.com/2014/02/04/aquellos-a-los-que-admiro/
“no creo en el amor como contrato sexual y social (que es el que se da en el 80% de los casos) sino en el que emana de corazones despojados de toda pretensión carnal o de interés”
Translated into English, it would be something like this:
“I don’t believe in love as a sexual and social contract (which is in 80% of cases), but in the one that emanates from hearts stripped of any carnal claim or interest”
The entire article was great and talked about some topics I’ve wirtten about here, but these words really caught my attention. Truly, I could have never said it better. Those lines reflect perfectly what I think. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. This idea may look too idealistic, too innocent… too authentic for this world and maybe stick to it is not a good plan, as the author of the article says, but they’re somehow written in fire on my conscience. After all, when you read it, there’s something subversive about it, challenging. That or I’m still too young. As once I wrote here, to mature is nothing but betraying ourselves. And who knows? Someday I’ll have to make a decision: betray myself or become nuts.
Anyway, those lines have impressed me because, not long ago, someone told me: “Stop dreaming the impossible. You should find you someone you like enough to live with and have a good job”. Clearly, this can be boil down to “resign yourself”, to settle for someone neither too good nor too bad, but definetely not what you had in mind, someone who can give you sex and money regularly, a couple of noisy and unruly children, who looks succesful from the social point of view, who doesn’t bring you problems, something conventional and monotonous. Something that would look perfect and desirable, but which is empty and desolate, something you found because you were afraid of being lonely. Exactly like a contract, everyone plays their part and receive some benefits. And you’ll have to call it love. I have no clue of what is love, but I do know what it is not. But I think that a word that better defined what I’ve described above is ‘product’. Yes, that kind of ‘love’ looks exactly as another cheap product made by our society, like any other material product, adorable and beautiful outside, covered with sweet promises, but hollow inside. When I heard those words, I couldn’t help a burning ball of indignation rising from my stomach. That is not what I want for me. Seriously, I’d prefer to stay alone all my life rather than to become lost in a pale delusion.
Now, I could fall into the trap and try to explain what is something like love, but I won’t, because I’ve said I have no idea. Maybe love can’t be described, only felt. You just only can know what is not love. And love isn’t something made to meet social expectations, to serve selfish and material interests. When someone talks about if a person is ‘appropiate’ for him, he means if that person has a good reputation, job, money, etc. He’s focusing in what the other person has and not in what the other person is or can become. I guess the same happens with sexual interests. Stop and think that if you truly love someone, although he can’t offer you all those things, although you’ll have to fight, does it really matter? Maybe just one moment of joy spent with him, although there’s suffering, worths more than a lifetime with a person that can give you all that society value by resigning yourself to a dull life, to something you never wanted.
Picture from: http://misyu.deviantart.com/art/fake-love-170548946