Have you ever feel the pain and the bitterness of betrayal? I mean, you admire someone deeply and then he dissapoints you. You put your faith, you share your hopes and dreams with him, he represents what you believe in, he inspires you to start things by yourself, you find consolation in him as if he knew what you feel, as if he understood you… he’s an important part of your life. But time goes by and he becomes all that you hate, all you never like him to be. He breaks all those things that you had put in his hands and doesn’t even think about it for a second. He betrays you.
I think the first time someone you admire dissapoints you, you realize that he’s just a human being as you, nothing special. And the dream ends in that moment. Then you try to convince yourself that everything can go on as always, that there’re still admirable things in that person. But he will dissapoint you again, and again, and again while you try to forgive him desperately till the pain that he causes you is almost unbearble, the bitterness of feeling betrayed, the rage against him grows with every new dissapointment and, eventually, you can’t take it anymore and even wish to be able to hit him or shout at him, or not want to know about him anymore. However, the deal is, as he was an important person to you, you can’t help loving and, after all, admiring him. So it turns out to be like a conviction, you just can’t run away. When you see him, you think that you can’t really get angry with him, you will believe in his lies again, you will let him play with your affections, cause looking back, there was a day when he was all for you, but it will never be like in the beggining again, when your admiration was pure, when it wasn’t stained by betrayal, during that time when you thought that person was the most amazing in the world. Cause you know that person still exists in the past, and you would like him to go back to that state, to forget what he has become and that you hate. But it’s impossible. At the end we’re all the same and all make mistakes and lose our way sometimes, and we shouldn’t forget it.